Psychology / / August 12, 2017
Over the years, people change a lot.We'll show you how to better understand and accept the older generation.What to do to them, and it was easy to contact you.Why do it?Yes ... just for the sake of peace and love!
There are quite grown up and held the children, which is easy with the parents.Anyway, so it is possible to consider from the side.They call every day, go to the garden and even happy to participate in family-type scams exchange Sasha's communal in two five-room apartment at no extra cost.Do not ask me how they manage to keep up with everything.We only know one thing: none of them came to this through natural love for their own parents.Everyone had to change something in his life and character, to learn something.Make of yourself a perfect son or daughter is not easy and boring.But this noble activity.It uplifts, calms, reduces feelings of guilt and increases the sense of well being.In addition, it releases a lot of time to make your million.
If you live with elderly parents
- Stipulate distribution of responsibilities.Who does what will and what will not do.It's easier than then three o'clock to seek the right thing and scream "I told you not to get out of my room!".Mom still will not be able to sit back, so offer her every Friday oven 48 pancakes and wash the dishes.With its work, it will be easier to proudly pass your running area.
- Ozvuchte your daily routine .When parents know in advance who, where and when there is, it is easier to navigate in what is happening.The easiest way to understand why at 6 am in the kitchen do not have anyone.And more difficult to make a complaint, why are you coming to a sudden Semenovih not brought a box garden with their school letters, and a fitness facility went!
- Allow them to help you .Ask sometimes do something for you personally.For example, choose a gift to your friends of the new German directory (does not matter what you give in fact).Exchange services in people's lives is not the last place.If you do not allow the Pope to fix rare iron, it will be difficult in good conscience ask you to run to the pharmacy.And he'll be nervous all day and perhaps grumble.
- Imagine parents who come to you people.It is one thing to say out loud, "Guys, come in" and think that everyone already knew everything.Other - to bring each to her mother and explain who it is.Instead of feeling that it did not devote to something important, my mother will be a feeling of complete satisfaction.And she will share with your friends for tea dryers.
Parents turned 55
What happens to them
Better not ask!They do not understand anything.Who among them before imagined that such a bed with cucumbers instead of the position of the First Secretary of the Chairman of the Chamber of Accounts?Imagine you wake up in the morning and do not know where to apply yourself.On the bedside table is free.Silence.You think: let me, I'll call her daughter, still today foolishness toils in its finance department.I have to say, let her beloved urgently enter into garage cooperative for seven stops from home, the best places are not yet sorted out!Details will read the address of the cooperative, and a daughter to you, "Mom, I have a meeting!".It does not hurt right?On the physical level, too, there is something savory.At this time women begin menopause everyone knows - the composition of hormone changes, nervous system trying to adapt in a hurry.Men are physically easier: male hormones remain in 50 years at the same level."Who left the hall in your stupid jack!" - Want to shout your mother, she suffered three days, then can not stand.Dad gets the full program and goes to look for the phone.To persuade still a daughter, so that she talked in-law build a garage.To hide the jack.
How to behave
helping parents to adapt to the transition from active professional work to the "freedom» , cope with the feeling of uselessness and, as a consequence, of helplessness.Prompt them to be more self-sufficient way.It shows that in the world there are still many interesting things, in addition to the phone, where your name in front of an exclamation point.List them hundreds of hobbies to choose from.Internet to help you!Buy a computer and teach parents to connect to the network - for each there is something there.Put them mail, help to find groups of interest.Themselves regularly write letters to them, then you do not have to tell your father that you have a meeting.Ask for advice.Send us useful links.They currently need to feel involved in some process.For example, hint Dad to learn more about menopause and looked for tools to help my mother not to twitch for nothing.
can use any source of fresh information and experiences.
- To reduce dad bowling.
- Give mom a club card at the fitness center.
- Share video and DVD.
- Sign mum on women's magazine.
Parents of 65
What happens to them
being established life was disintegrating sensations.Hormones complete rage, but those of them, which makes the body strong (protects the heart muscle, bone, etc.) - The estrogen remains low.Especially men. comes conflict vast experience and low levels of physical ability .Parents are increasingly complaining that the "force are not the same."But in most cases it works a common standard: if you for 60, the forces you have to be "wrong".It inspires a movie, book, polyclinic, mom girlfriend aunt Larissa.It does not matter that this aunt of thirty years can not raise more than a cup of coffee and climbs to the first floor with stops.Your parents all that scary.They begin to look for a sign of weakness.Becomes vulnerable, touchy and not very sociable.However, peer around your parents becomes really small.Sometimes it seems that they do not exist.It feels like it's about the same as three years old, you enter a dark room.
How to behave
Try to destroy the generally accepted idea of old age .Of course, it's hard to make believe that 65 years - the blossoming of vitality, but to convince a look at what is happening optimistic as possible.This will prevent them from feeling suddenly crept disaster.Good examples help - biographies of people, seethes with energy to an advanced years.With regard to health care in the form to parents insurance in the normal clinic, where it is not necessary 6 hours stuck in the queue groaning to take ticket to the therapist.Find adequate doctor-optimist.Ask him yourself, what is really necessary to pay attention, and which "illness" can be defeated by simply changing the mood.
Excellent tool to feel strong again - giving.Help parents move, put it on the phone giving or buy them mobile.There is one subtlety.Be sure to bring everything you need - but do not allow to involve themselves in the race for the tomatoes!Seedlings to banks back - no more.Otherwise, all quietly forget that you have your own life.
Let them feel the heat surrounding not exhausted, and in the "dark room" is the source of light.
- Bring a visit to the parents of their childhood friends, to be able to remember together as Grisha stuck on the fence, and Ivan was shooting.
- Call their closest friends and ask that your parents care.Under the pretext of "I think they have something to hide from me."Such care warms their hearts.After all, surely Friends will report directly to them about your call.
What happens to them
sometimes confusion in the mind. Blame vessels that supply the brain with oxygen worse .Parents it's disgusting, because before they could remember from the first half of "Onegin" and now forgotten, which shoved the TV remote.No matter how many years you may be pretty hard to admit that you are on the move you can not figure out what the son was going to go today to visit: Mike or Sasha.And bring a grandchild: Gosha or Lesha.In 70 years, the man is more difficult to capture everything that is happening around, the more that events alternate five times faster than in the days of his youth.Parents may feel embarrassed that something can not remember, do not understand or can not.Father, not waiting for your arrival, he rushes to cut down a dead tree, and it falls on the porch ... Mother pokes two o'clock in the garbage disposal zabivshiysya old ski, ashamed to admit, even to herself, that she is a trifle longer under force.
How to behave
Explain to parents that you will be useful for someone to take care : say, a psychologist - the head of training for the development of personal abilities ordered (and at the same time tell anyone what it is).Be sure to explain to the case when, what you have to deal with all day at work, and even ask for advice.If your husband with enough income to support four grandparents and four grandparents, have mercy feelings "ancestors".Make them at least a semblance of independence: help them find out whether they are getting all that is necessary from the state (drugs, grants, discounts, post-employment benefits).Parents are pleased to know that it is their money.Try to learn more about their illness, tell all the parents and very delicate, make sure that they comply with the required conditions, without prejudice in any case, their sense of independence.
not flaunting their actions, take the domestic custody of their parents, strongly emphasizing their personal, psychological autonomy.You do not keep track of everything, but at least take on the fact that they have to do is simply dangerous.
- Make repairs.
- regularly eliminates all problems in the home.
- Periodically check requests without parents, how the pipes, electrics, locks, garbage disposal and even a hunting rifle on a wall ...
Parents turned 85
What happens to them
At this age, parents also wantbe useful .But in this case it may itself require care.Unfortunately, they are not always themselves can realistically assess their strength, how and to what extent they need your help.The easiest way to determine this - to live a weekend with them.
How to behave
Parents must feel that you are aware of their condition, and ready in case anything happens to help and fully take care of them.
- go to the doctor together.
- Help parents to make the schedule of medication.Maybe once a week you should come to visit them and to lay out pills in plastic cups, on which is written "understood.morning volts.lunch, Wed.night "and so forth.
- Hire parent community nurse or nurse, who will be able to help with the different procedures in case of illness podezhurit in your absence.Today it can be done in a relatively affordable price.
- secure the maximum and adjust to the age of the home: the parents have not fallen in the bath, put there support brackets, stairs to bed, mats on which you can not slip, get a comfortable mattress and a special warming underwear.
solves nothing for the parents - they are all the same adults!